(Part time) JOB!

So I've been sitting on this for a week now and got confirmation today: I got a part time job as a bike mechanic at a shop down the street. Woo! Literally about 0.2 miles away. A few hours a week, every other weekend. My first thought is, "Awesome, it's become a dream of mine to work at a bike shop!" (It satisfies my desire for more social interaction while also promising to fulfill my obsessive bike-fix.)  My second thought is, "...and I can bring home a little bit of money to supplement our income!" (Thereby feeling good that I was doing even more to help our family.)

My third thought, which sort of trumps the others, is "But is this going to be a stress on C and/or Ellie, trying to schedule time away from home and not be worth it overall? Is C going to hate whatever our new schedule works out to be?" (This is partly a selfish endeavor that pays little and will require I work some weekends and possibly some evening hours.)

Well, we'll see. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out and life goes on. I've been imagining this to be the skate-shop job I never had, where I am surrounded by bikes and get to talk about bikes and geek out about bike stuff at the shop with people who care about bikes, instead of my poor family who has to listen to me talking about bottom bracket spindles and chainlines and so forth. Plus, employee discounts, group rides, and the like... I'm having trouble imagining it sucking. That is, unless it doesn't work out with the fam. That will always be a deal breaker.

One Love, One Income: First day on the job

Yesterday was my first day on the job as Full-time Father, or Mister Mom, or however you fancy... It's one of those "easy" weeks where you get a couple days to adjust, then two weeks of vacation where you see everyone you know who will ask "So how was it?" and you say "well, it's been two days" and not being one to kill a conversation like that you continue to describe what you think it will be like and how you want to take Ellie swimming.

Anyway, the days have been good. Ellie has decided that sleeping at night just isn't her thing anymore. Blargh.

I'm pretty sure both Ellie and I are getting sick, too, which isn't making anything easier. And right before the holidays. Holiday?

The only thing that has me nervous is Winter. Cold weather, snow, and ice are going to keep us inside and our house is small. There aren't too many places to explore in here.

So, our life with one income begins now. I've been stretching my unimaginative brain in all directions trying to think of possible ways to supplement our income, just because a little more money doesn't hurt. Sewing stuff? Painting stuff? I don't know. But seriously, if you are interested in advertising here, let me know. I'll send you the smallest bill in our stack, on a first-come-first-serve basis; meaning you Johnny-come-lately's will have to settle on our car insurance or our property taxes. Don't delay! Call now!

Also, I updated my Linked-In profile headline to describe me now as an "Entrepreneur and Internet Visionary," for obvious reasons.

Winter, Fabric, and Money

The author of a popular cycling blog recently wrote this: "For some reason, fall makes me start to look at touring and randonneuring bikes."

Well, in my life, plummeting temperatures makes me want to bundle up in lots of heavy duty layers and I don't care if that clothing is large, baggy, and so ill-fitting like every pair of Carhartts that are available in the USA. I just want to wear boot socks, long-johns, canvas work pants, and as many tops as will fit under my winter coat. Instead of visiting bike websites, I prowl for workwear. I dream of wool and windproof softshell.

It's outrageously dorky. I know.

I hope that, in anticipation of quitting my job and forfeiting our second income, I can get crafty and start making some cool stuff, like shirts and pants and hats and socks... maybe more baby clothes than anything. I've been sourcing crazy, technical fabrics. I bet C should be getting a headache from having to roll her eyes so much when confronted with some of the ideas I've been coming up with lately.

Anyway, we had a really short conversation about money last night. It didn't really get anywhere since neither of us had enough attention to pay each other; but we agreed that maybe we should give up an unessential expense each month, even if only for that month, to better understand our budget. This month, for me? How about, no buying clothes?

Life be crazzy

Man, this life be crazy. Waking up through the night, "walking" little Miss Babygirl in a marathon around the house, trying to soothe the aches of her first tooth which decided to come at the peak of a cold she's been suffering, trying to compensate for a babysitter that was MIA for four weeks... it's madness. C has been taking the brunt of the work, as not only does her body make the food that comprises 98% of E-boo's diet, but she is also more compassionate and generally more sacrificial than I am. She get's it from her mom. Sometimes that difference between us leads to stress but eventually I find a way to make up for it because, and I believe this, I'm a pretty good guy. Maybe not great, but good. As in not bad. But as usual "not bad" isn't "good."

It is how people respond to stress that determines whether they will profit from misfortune or be miserable. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Anyway, long story short, I told my boss (after months of rallying the "balls" to do it) that I am ending my work as an Environmental Consultant--a title which apparently only means "a wage slave that works in a hostile environment consisting of shitty conditions and long, uncompensated hours." Yeah, I'm over it.

Fall is in full swing and Winter is knocking on the door. With the door to my future open wide in front of my face I am pretty excited, slightly nervous, but mostly full of hope and faith that life will get on to be as awesome as I ever expected it to be. C and I have been extra crafty lately which, in my case, has been partly influenced by my brother- and sister-in-law who are growing an ever-impressive photography business from scratch, and my increasing desire to work on my own terms, which is constantly at odds with my other undeniable ability to be lazy whenever I find a chance.

Today was particularly blustery and bone-chilling and I made myself bike to the office. It's a great feeling, cruising on a bike. I'm obsessed. Unfortunately, time constraints are squeezing me from all angles and I'm averaging about 1 mile a month. Not sure that's going to change anytime soon, and I don't regret anything that's causing that, except maybe not quitting my job earlier... But even still, finding time to ride is much harder than, say, cruising the World Wide Web and witnessing other people doing it. Bleh.

Meanwhile, I'm going to strive to figure out the meaning behind the above quote and turn any lingering stress into profits. Cha-ching!

Outdoor work

Today (which marks the third of four consecutive days I will spend spraying herbicide on or cutting invasive cattails) I considered the different perspectives of a person with the archetypal 9-to-5 desk job and someone with an "outdoor" job. I've had conversations with people who have "inside" jobs and I've wooed them with stories of getting paid to hike through nature preserves taking inventory of plants and signs of animals. The sort of work where I even find myself asking "How do I get paid for this?"  But what about the end of the day? when you go home and get to make decisions about what you will do with your time? Well, after 6 hours of wading though knee-deep muck, under full summer sun, carrying a plastic backpack with a gallon of poisonous liquid herbicide, wearing rubber gloves as if they were keeping the chemicals off my arms and face... I could go on and on... what I want to do is sit down and stare at a screen. TV or computer will do. When C asked if I wanted to go on a run last night I laughed at the thought. If work hadn't kicked my ass, what all would I have the energy to do? Granted, I'm oversimplifying this and there are days when I get to do some cool stuff. But some days are just brutal. Someone recently asked if I would trade in the sunburns for a button-up shirt... right now I'm thinking I could handle a button-up shirt if when I got home I had the energy and desire to hang outside and get sunburned on my own terms.

Work

I'm writing this in homeward transit from a two-day, out-of-town job. Not sure how I got out of driving on this return trip, but it is affording me some time to finish data entry, chat with C, and catch up on my stories. Two days hanging out in farm fields under a merciless sun, trudging through oppressive heat and humidity, picking up wood ticks along the way (just found another one!); not to mention the goofy work schedule that kept us outside until 9:30 at night and the fact that we weren't able to settle on dinner until around 10:45... and bed by 12:30.
At 5:30 this morning (when I was waking up to start our work day) I found text messages from C about Ellie waking up crying several times and Alden barking and needing to go potty. Sweet. All of this has amounted to an increasing feeling of helplessness and frustration and resentment of my job.
Not sure what to do...

March is here! (a.k.a. 34 weeks) (a.k.a. T-minus-6 weeks!)

I can't believe we are at 34 weeks already. The uncertain amount of time left is presumed to be an even month-and-a-half and we're starting to bite our nails. The suspense is getting heavy. At my job, I've got a project looming over my head which promises to take me out of town for three three-day trips. We haven't "won" the job yet and the more I think about it, the more I get sick thinking about being so far from home and C going into labor. Anyway, I'm trying to be optimistic that luck will guide us through this month. I mean, I have two four-leaf clovers that I've been saving for some time now and figured I could cash one in for March in the spirit of Saint Patrick's Day. Sure, I can't be too certain that I have any Irish blood in me, but I suspect that in this case "it's the thought that counts."

I feel like as soon as April 1st hits, our baby will be on its way, arriving any minute thereon.

Meanwhile, I'm looking into other career options and wish that looked a little brighter. It seems like there are only a few doors available to me, and most of them lead back to school. Dammit!
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In other news, we picked up and assembled our crib this weekend! Woohoo! We also added a few more splashes of paint to the nursery.

Also, we're preparing for the first of TWO baby showers which will be this weekend and next.

Breaking News in the Real World: Work less, but not work-less

My company isn't doing so hot, so this Monday morning we three employees were told cuts in hours were to be made, effective immediately. Fortunately, for me, this means a 32 hour work week at the same pay rate, keeping my benefits (which may or may not be necessary), and potentially an extra day of my week devoted to the personal time I value so dearly.

This isn't necessarily permanent (my boss explained this change should only last 2 or 3 months, until seasonal work picks back up); but without having consulted our budget, it could prove to be a great situation for our family. A day I could devote to being Daddy Daycare; a day less of paying some stranger to watch our kid; a day less of wage earning to pay for some stranger to watch our kid, thus helping to balance this change in our income....

Not sure what will come of it, exactly, but for now the mood is very positive! Good life go!

As they say: To be continued...

Paternity Leave?

I promised C that I would talk with my boss about taking time off after the baby is born (a.k.a. paternity leave). In the US, a dad can take 12 weeks of unpaid leave--and have a job at the same pay when he returns--if that job is the government or is a company with more than 50 employees among some other stipulations. Unfortunately, my company, which has the most employees it's ever had, is over-staffed by 5 people.

This is what Babycenter.com has to say:

How and when should I request leave?

...Consider discussing paternity leave with your employer as soon as you're ready to announce the pregnancy — usually after your partner's first trimester... You'll be in a stronger position to negotiate a leave if you approach your boss with a specific plan and allow him or her plenty of time to help you implement it. (If you have trusted co-workers who have been through this before, ask them how they handled their leave and what kind of reaction they got.) Offer your boss solutions rather than problems by having some ideas for how your work can be handled while you're away. Consider asking for leave and getting approval early in the pregnancy even if you're not sure you'll want to or be able to take unpaid leave when the time comes. It's easier to come back early than it is to ask for more time.

What if I don't qualify for leave under FMLA?

If you work only part time or for a small company, you don't qualify for paternity leave under FMLA and your employer may not provide this benefit. If this is the case, it can't hurt to ask your boss for a leave of absence anyway. Many companies may still be willing to negotiate some sort of time off for a valued employee. The earlier you start making a case for yourself as a valuable, hard-working person, the better position you'll be in for bargaining...

If you're still not getting anywhere, make sure you find out whether you're entitled to some kind of leave under your state's laws as these benefits may be more generous than the FMLA. Talking with other new dads about how they managed time away from work might also give you more creative ideas about how to take the time off to bond with your newborn child.

How can I make the most of my time with my family if I can't take unpaid leave?

If you're not able to take paternity leave, here are a few ideas for maximizing your time with your new family:

•  Consider working overtime before your baby comes and exchange it for time off after the birth.
•  On nights when you don't have to work the next day, have your partner wake you up when the baby is finished nursing so you can be the one to rock her back to sleep. Or take turns getting up for feedings.
•  Your child will experience many "firsts" in her first year of life. Whenever these events can be scheduled, do so when you have time off from work.
•  During the first year of your baby's life, look at any activities that take you away from your baby. Consider saying no to some of those events to spend more time with your newborn.

Visiting family, Health, House, Work

It's been a hot minute since any update. As this is a journal of sorts, I owe it to myself to check in.

Well. Things have been good. Mostly quiet. C's nausea seems to be subtly waning away into nothingness.

We were at a family function over the weekend and everyone there knew the news of our pregnancy--which was nice because we could talk freely about it. The moms were able to share stories and were curious to hear about C's experience.

Just before that event we had stopped by C's cousins' house to visit them and their 2-week old daughter. How freaking small! Like, freakishly tiny. I was blown away--like, I had never seen a newborn before. It was the first time I got a little freaked out, like, "This is gonna be us in 6 months!" A new piece of furniture that it seems we don't yet have the space for. We were able to share our good news with them and they were happy for us.

I need to get my butt to work and finish our basement--finish the drywall, add some flooring, and get a bathroom installed down there. After that we can start on a baby's room...
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Fears about H1N1/"Swine Flu" are rising and I'm trying to keep optimistic about everything. So many things can go wrong between now and forever that I just can't let those fears dwell in my head space.
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C and I got in a little argument yesterday about my job and the pressure to work "above and beyond" as a non-exempt yet supposedly "highly-compensated" salaried employee at a fledgling company (this means I'm expected to work over 40 hours a week without over-time pay). I believe any other job in the same line of work will come with similar demands/expectations. The alternative? Quit and become a stay-at-home dad. Maybe get a part-time job. I agree that we could probably take the cut in total income... Is it possible? Would it work? Not yet comfortable with the idea of quitting my job, but can see that it would suck to leave the baby every day in the hands of strangers I'm paying to do what a parent should be doing.

Vacation: Part I

Hello from South Carolina. We've been on vacation in Myrtle Beach for 5 days now. We left Saturday evening, stayed in a hotel near the Virginia-West Virginia border, and arrived on Sunday afternoon. Things have been relatively great: C's nausea has been pretty low, she's been sleeping relatively well, and nothing has been terrible. Ha. That doesn't sound like a good report, but honestly it is. We're having fun with my family, the weather has been awesome, and above all we are really enjoying ourselves. Early on, C joked that feeling good on this trip was a sign that she needed to quit work. I think there is some truth in that, no doubt.

We've been keeping the trip pretty low key. We did take one risky adventure: horseback riding. We signed a waiver that warned pregnant women should not risk riding horses. Just like all other warnings, it's never clear if they mean women of all stages of pregnancy or not. According to... the internet... its acceptable to ride a horse during the first, if not also the second trimester. The risk comes with falling or getting kicked. So, we wore helmets to be safe. No joke.

Other than that I over-packed groceries for the trip. Multigrain Cheerios, Fiber Plus pancake mix, wheat bread, pitas, trail mix, bananas, caffiene-free soda, ginger ale, granola bars, chips, protein drink, V8 juice, popcorn... We haven't touched half that stuff, but a few of those things have been very handy to curb morning sickness--especially handfuls of the Cheerios in the morning.

So far so good.