instant gramming

October 22, 2008

Enjoy Life

I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
Rita Mae Brown

I hate being away from home because of work. Not only do I enjoy the good company of C and Alden, and the comfort of our house, but I also feel terrible when I'm away and am not able to help with the chores, forcing C to shoulder all responsibility. Monday I left town to go on two-day business trip, like I've done many times before. Sometimes, trips like these, or even long day-trips, really wear me out. The work can be rough, the conditions can be awful, and by the time I return to our doorstep I can be downright miserable. There have been many times when I walk through our door and expect C to run up to me, with all kinds of pity and sympathy and unconditional happiness to see me--as Alden does every time. But to expect that has been a selfish fault of mine--C's job is as physically and mentally taxing, and the job of taking care of Alden for an entire night and morning alone puts my efforts to shame. As much as I need it, C needs the same amount of excitement and enthusiasm and sympathy from me the second I see her. So yesterday, I made sure to go straight to her, with a huge smile on my face, and give her the biggest hug she could imagine. I thanked her for the great dinner she made and for taking good care of Alden and the house. I had even brought home Graeter's ice cream, knowing well that black raspberry chip ice cream is a great way to help swallow some of our daily frustrations. To come in the door with a smile and to give/get a big hug was much nicer than I had hoped.

Later in the evening C turned on some music and set off another one of our increasingly frequent dance parties. I'm not a big fan of participating in structured dance (e.g. ballroom style), but really can't deny C my cooperation. And fortunately I did start dancing with her because things got silly and, after getting kicked really hard in the head, we both enjoyed really good, uncontrollable, boisterous laughter. I love laughing with C. In fact, I would say that C laughing is my favorite thing in the world. It goes well beyond being satisfied, beyond being simply happy. Laughing so fully is the best indication that you are really enjoying life--the only reason to be alive.

So, I guess my lesson here is to get better about not wallowing in defeat, not expecting sympathy or pity, and to rise up with a smile on my face and give the love and appreciation I hope to receive. It's well worth the little bit of effort. If you want to enjoy life, you better expect to put some work into it and to stay positive.

Positive Mental Attitude

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